Blog Post 9: Healthcare Directive

              Before I began to fill the eleven pages of empty space, I was taken aback by the straightforward explanation of vulnerability.  The purpose of a health-care directive is to both empower and protect an individual if life were to strip the person of his or her ability to decide.  Although this idea provided a structured sense of comfort, I felt very isolated and vulnerable.  It was almost as though the words on the paper were directly stripping me of my strength as an individual; the power to make and convey my own choices.  Even though I’ve never experienced this level of helplessness, reading the purpose of the directive cast me into the role of the withering and incapable. 

This imposed powerless state was further affirmed with the first part, which asked me to name a decision-maker.  Up to this point, I haven’t written anything into the directive, yet I feel as though my hands have been tied.  Not only has this agreement forced me to face the unpredictable nature of the future, it forced me to consider relinquishing my power to another person.  Who would I trust to make decisions for me? Who can I trust to ultimately deliver my wishes when I become unable to do so?  Who could I burden with the responsibility of my life? My younger brother was the first person I thought of and so I filled the form accordingly.  However, I realized that I was thinking of the future, as I wouldn’t task a fifteen-year-old boy to make decisions regarding someone else’s life.  While this form forced me to consider the worst, I still didn’t recognize the possibility of death at my age.  I realized that I approached this entire form with the future in mind.  I reflected upon the accident that occurred on Tuesday and then understood that death is ultimately unpredictable, inevitable, and unavoidable.  Although I’ve written over three hundred words about the first couple of pages, I’ve felt a plethora of emotions and conflictions from this task.  Dwelling on the worst-case scenario has transformed this task, which was intended to be a formal document like every other form in existence, into a daunting awakening to reality.