The importance of choosing the right agent

In my senior year of high school, I took a hospice class. The basic premise of the course was that the students were trained to be nurse aids and allowed to volunteer at hospice institutions of their choice. A part of the course focused on Advanced Health Care Directives. Our assignment was to speak to our family members about what we should do in case of an emergency. My mother and I decided that in case I was in a position of peril, unable to make my own decisions, she would become my agent. I also said that I want to be resuscitated because I am still young. In case I cannot be resuscitated, we decided that I would not prolong life. In her case, I would be the agent and she would have a do not resuscitate order, and a relief from pain order. We both decided to be organ donors. Talking about end of life decisions was very difficult, especially for me since I cannot conceive dying any time soon. However, it is very important to prepare for "what if" situations. The hardest part of our discussion was the "do not resuscitate" order that my mother preferred. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that when the time comes, I will not be able to tell the doctors to save her no matter what. I tried to convince her to change her mind. However, she was adamant about her decision, and in the end, I could not make the decision for her. The most important aspect of the health care directive is choosing an agent who will be able to put their personal feelings aside and think of what the patient themselves would want.

In my case, death still seems like a very distant notion. However, I am aware that anything can happen. Especially following the accident on Tuesday. Although it may be difficult to talk about, it is an important family conversation, to let your agent know what you would like and why. It is as much a family decision as it is a personal decision.