Obstacle

Imagine waking up one morning deciding that you want to take a walk to bask in nature’s beauty. You say goodbye to your family and walk out the door. As you are strolling down the sidewalk, something across the street catches your eye. Then, all you feel is excruciating pain as you are slammed to the ground. You lie on the pavement for what feels like hours before you finally hear sirens. You can barely worry about how your loved ones will react before everything goes black.

It was a typical day – until I came home to the news that my grandpa got hit by a car. He broke two ribs, damaged four organs, was on a ventilator and kidney dialysis, and lost a leg. Visiting him the next day, I was hit with immense sadness, anger and fear after seeing all the tubes and machines swallowing him. After the prayer service, I walked to the Volunteer’s Office to clock in for my weekly shift. The manager saw the emotional state I was in and gave me the option of taking the day off, but I convinced her that I was okay and headed off to my department. Ten minutes into my shift, I was immersed in attending to patients’ needs and temporarily forgot about the pain I had felt earlier that morning.

After a few days, multiple procedures, and no signs of recovery, the doctors told us that it was time to pull the plug; my grandpa passed away two days later. The events following happened quickly – my grandma, mom, uncles and aunty planned a wake for him here in Hawai’i and flew out to have the funeral service and burial in Vietnam. My dad stayed back to watch over us, but he spent late nights at his work place due to sudden complications with his boats, and he relied on me to take care of my brothers and myself. On top of driving my brothers around and preparing meals, I struggled to keep up with my responsibilities as a yearbook co-editor, tutor for National Honor Society, and retreat coordinator. When I thought that it could not get any worse, my brother was a victim of an incident and was withdrawn from his school. I felt my senior year flying by – I missed the homecoming game to finish a fifteen- page lab report and a literature project. Some days, I had so much to do that all I did was cry. During this time, I questioned many aspects of my life - would all the sleepless nights be worth it one day? How can we live in the now when we are always too busy planning for the future? During this time of distress, I found myself growing as a person mentally and spiritually. As hard as it was, I managed to focus on the positive aspects of life.

During this tough time, I found myself always looking forward to seeing the energetic children at my parish; these children never failed to make me smile. As soon as I walked into the room, they would run up to me to tell me about their day and brag about their missing tooth, first flu shot, or new toy. Seeing them every day was a constant reminder and reassurance that I would be okay. Their untarnished optimism encouraged me to view life the same way. It gave me motivation to work harder and work towards a career in pediatrics. It was during this obstacle in my life that I realized what I wanted to do, not what anyone else expected of me.